Category

Anxiety life style

Category

Waiting for opportunities is like waiting for last year snow.

Opportunities are sought not granted. When the brain, after lot of resistance accepts that, we are ready for action. There is no red carpet spread in front of your door because you are so super smart, creative and full of ideas. You have to be seen, as walls does not offer opportunities, I tried and nothing happened, they are still there where they were this morning, last week, last year.

opportunities are created

How I come to realize photo project Anxiety – Move outside the box

After a plenty of time spent to understand that unpleasant condition and apprehending the usefulness signs of the same a lot of time elapsed, need not to lie ourselves. Acceptance of both help and the very self with all part for complaint is a process.

Attending the photography course was a step towards from anxiety shaking in one spot to action. When at the end of course we had to choose our first photo project, out of thousands ideas I decided to pick this one being with it familiar for a long time. Megalomaniac aim was to take off the taboos from anxiety and mental health themes. There was also my indignation involved as there is no much talk about this, positive examples are rarely found. Therapies and symptoms are discussed mainly, yet the actions taken and good outcomes are discussed  much less. The first idea was series of portraits of people suffering from this disorder. Pretentiously I thought that anxiety-hitted people are eager to be photographed with their anxiety feelings, this idea being supported by statistics.

When the idea of portraits photographs was abandoned, I had to move to plan B. To show a creative creature putting a box on his/her head and grasping it frantically regardless of  unpleasant symptomathology caused by the box. That everything is not so black is shown by a red dress, that everything is not so depressed is shown by spotted stocking, that this is not a shame by my self-portrait. Photographs revived my life phase, with priority sense of constriction, a painful process of own personality expression, deprived of well-established social norms. Throughout fan of inner experience, from being lost, helpless, not fitting in, over acceptance of psychologist help, to expressing the strength through struggle, I presented the identity creation under slogan Anxiety is a creative process. In short video below, you can see photos.

I did not give up the initial idea, and there will be certainly continuation of project, with the aim to support people in that state, to tell them they are not worthless and incurable and that they can get the best of it, that they are not alone, and over all that this is not a shame.

My works were presented at group exhibition during Belgrade photo month during April, 2017. The second exhibition was at Ciglana in October and it looked like this.

anxiety support

Before Day of Mental Health I sent about 40 mails, packed accordingly – short text describing the project and photographs. It was published by Magazine Grain. I got answer from National TV station and their show “150 minutes” to be their guest, to show my project and say that anxiety is a creative process and not necessarily dubiousis without escape.

During work on the project I learned lot of things. From all necessary things on photography, as I am amateur, to the fact that all different people are ready to help if you are hanging on the rocks and there is nobody to hold tools for taking pictures. Friends are ready to turn blue from cold, to tumble on parking place and take over the guilt for scarring with their outfit and mask the children of people passing by, only that you can reach your vision.

opportunities

Sellers in the near market are ready to unpack the goods from boxes, but not whatever ones, but those that are fitted to the head- Bake rolls boxes- which are easily painted by black auto-lacquer. Dough with yeast after half an hour grow is an excellent replacement for glue.

The only thing I wanted to say is that opportunities are created and that there are neither ideal conditions nor exact measure of knowledge, skill and self-confidence needed to do anything. Just try!

It is all possibilities created by you, it is matter of style how you will use it.

If it is anxiety, it’s not a lion…

Anxiety at the begining of the story is a lion. The ones suffering from anxiety are fully aware of the fact how important the action is, and on the other side they know how difficult the performance of the same is. Activity of any kind in that mode is heavy as a hell, you would need superhuman efforts in doing everyday moves, starting from getting up from the bed, breathing, swallowing, walking, not to mention other kind of activities.

work hard

To surrender is the easiest and the worst thing I allowed to myself. Reducing hours and days into prayers to universe, God or whoever we name relevant to help these hours and days to leak out in an accelerated procedure. Yet, it is a good thing that after certain time, absolutely individually measured, these prayers make you so tired and angry that you begin to start looking for a way out.

anxiety

In my point of view, everyone has a part of self being neglected for years, well before anxiety caused breath loss, shaking, hearing intensified heart beat, before solid ground became too soft, before feeling paralyzed, helpless and worthless by fear, before knocked out by anxiety.

action

In my case there was a need to express myself in a creative way, which I buried by economic analysis, banking procedures, socially accepted code of behavior and fulfilling others wills and expectations. So to say, in the most simple way, lack of self-confidence to begin to move on my own path with an uncertain outcome.

creativity

I mentioned in my previous post here that my interests are diversified, one of them being photography. So with great dilemma, lot of postponement and a list of million entries why this is not needed for me being over thirty, I nevertheless decided to get started. First shots I made at the initial course of photography. Attending this type of workshop was one of the ways to transform my anxiety into a certain type of constructivism. This was opposite to the pattern “sit where you are, you are not for a better” which ruled when anxiety and I met. Where I was taken after stepping out of my mould, will be written in my next post.

self portrait

Recently I have found an organization which successfully applies the concept of therapeutic influence of photography on anxiety and depression. You can find them here. Far from that the photography could be named as an universal remedy, since such has not been invented yet, as far as I know, but I agree that, if you have affinity to it, this type of hobby will benefit you. The same goes for any activity enabling you to express yourself, to focus on action instead of rolling the stone of introspection 24 hours of day, seven days in a week.

It is all possibilities created by you, it is matter of style how you will use it.

My interests are so diversified that I would need a minimum 40-hours-day, but such daybreak never happens. After unsuccessful battle with a nature I have began to trace that mess of interests with an aim to reduce them at least to a common denominator.

The originating of blog is in fact correlated to uniting of my passions. I am an economist by profession, but at heart a creative person, in love with style, fashion, photography and people. According to type of person classification – anxious, so in this segment of blog I will deal with anxiety in the role of spiritus movens.

anxiety-creative-process

Anxiety is, in spite of unpleasant symptomatology, a creative process!!!

Whatever your interests may be, take a time to deal with them. It is not easy, as nothing is, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible and not funny, only when you jerk and start.

do-happy-things

You don’t know wherefrom to start – from places where people sharing your interests meet. Possibilities are created, not granted. Put your fingers on keyboard, click the button and Google says … free of charge workshops, events, you are at the spring (source) of information which makes the step into the process of creation of your opportunities much easier.

no-fear

Eat the beasts of fear and laziness, I warmly recommend to chew up first the ones of smaller weight.

It is all possibilities created by you, it is matter of style how you will use it.