If it is anxiety, it’s not a lion…
Anxiety at the begining of the story is a lion. The ones suffering from anxiety are fully aware of the fact how important the action is, and on the other side they know how difficult the performance of the same is. Activity of any kind in that mode is heavy as a hell, you would need superhuman efforts in doing everyday moves, starting from getting up from the bed, breathing, swallowing, walking, not to mention other kind of activities.
To surrender is the easiest and the worst thing I allowed to myself. Reducing hours and days into prayers to universe, God or whoever we name relevant to help these hours and days to leak out in an accelerated procedure. Yet, it is a good thing that after certain time, absolutely individually measured, these prayers make you so tired and angry that you begin to start looking for a way out.
In my point of view, everyone has a part of self being neglected for years, well before anxiety caused breath loss, shaking, hearing intensified heart beat, before solid ground became too soft, before feeling paralyzed, helpless and worthless by fear, before knocked out by anxiety.
In my case there was a need to express myself in a creative way, which I buried by economic analysis, banking procedures, socially accepted code of behavior and fulfilling others wills and expectations. So to say, in the most simple way, lack of self-confidence to begin to move on my own path with an uncertain outcome.
I mentioned in my previous post here that my interests are diversified, one of them being photography. So with great dilemma, lot of postponement and a list of million entries why this is not needed for me being over thirty, I nevertheless decided to get started. First shots I made at the initial course of photography. Attending this type of workshop was one of the ways to transform my anxiety into a certain type of constructivism. This was opposite to the pattern “sit where you are, you are not for a better” which ruled when anxiety and I met. Where I was taken after stepping out of my mould, will be written in my next post.
Recently I have found an organization which successfully applies the concept of therapeutic influence of photography on anxiety and depression. You can find them here. Far from that the photography could be named as an universal remedy, since such has not been invented yet, as far as I know, but I agree that, if you have affinity to it, this type of hobby will benefit you. The same goes for any activity enabling you to express yourself, to focus on action instead of rolling the stone of introspection 24 hours of day, seven days in a week.