Waiting for opportunities is like waiting for last year snow.
Opportunities are sought not granted. When the brain, after lot of resistance accepts that, we are ready for action. There is no red carpet spread in front of your door because you are so super smart, creative and full of ideas. You have to be seen, as walls does not offer opportunities, I tried and nothing happened, they are still there where they were this morning, last week, last year.
How I come to realize photo project Anxiety – Move outside the box
After a plenty of time spent to understand that unpleasant condition and apprehending the usefulness signs of the same a lot of time elapsed, need not to lie ourselves. Acceptance of both help and the very self with all part for complaint is a process.
Attending the photography course was a step towards from anxiety shaking in one spot to action. When at the end of course we had to choose our first photo project, out of thousands ideas I decided to pick this one being with it familiar for a long time. Megalomaniac aim was to take off the taboos from anxiety and mental health themes. There was also my indignation involved as there is no much talk about this, positive examples are rarely found. Therapies and symptoms are discussed mainly, yet the actions taken and good outcomes are discussed much less. The first idea was series of portraits of people suffering from this disorder. Pretentiously I thought that anxiety-hitted people are eager to be photographed with their anxiety feelings, this idea being supported by statistics.
When the idea of portraits photographs was abandoned, I had to move to plan B. To show a creative creature putting a box on his/her head and grasping it frantically regardless of unpleasant symptomathology caused by the box. That everything is not so black is shown by a red dress, that everything is not so depressed is shown by spotted stocking, that this is not a shame by my self-portrait. Photographs revived my life phase, with priority sense of constriction, a painful process of own personality expression, deprived of well-established social norms. Throughout fan of inner experience, from being lost, helpless, not fitting in, over acceptance of psychologist help, to expressing the strength through struggle, I presented the identity creation under slogan Anxiety is a creative process. In short video below, you can see photos.
I did not give up the initial idea, and there will be certainly continuation of project, with the aim to support people in that state, to tell them they are not worthless and incurable and that they can get the best of it, that they are not alone, and over all that this is not a shame.
My works were presented at group exhibition during Belgrade photo month during April, 2017. The second exhibition was at Ciglana in October and it looked like this.
Before Day of Mental Health I sent about 40 mails, packed accordingly – short text describing the project and photographs. It was published by Magazine Grain. I got answer from National TV station and their show “150 minutes” to be their guest, to show my project and say that anxiety is a creative process and not necessarily dubiousis without escape.
During work on the project I learned lot of things. From all necessary things on photography, as I am amateur, to the fact that all different people are ready to help if you are hanging on the rocks and there is nobody to hold tools for taking pictures. Friends are ready to turn blue from cold, to tumble on parking place and take over the guilt for scarring with their outfit and mask the children of people passing by, only that you can reach your vision.
Sellers in the near market are ready to unpack the goods from boxes, but not whatever ones, but those that are fitted to the head- Bake rolls boxes- which are easily painted by black auto-lacquer. Dough with yeast after half an hour grow is an excellent replacement for glue.
The only thing I wanted to say is that opportunities are created and that there are neither ideal conditions nor exact measure of knowledge, skill and self-confidence needed to do anything. Just try!